I have been trying my best to be positive and regroup this past week. Making some decisions about where I’m headed and as someone who “just doesn’t make plans” I have actually been doing some of that too. Much of it has to do with being a more social person. My constant effort to “stay out of my shell” can be quite difficult to maintain. I find it interesting that my co-workers tend to think my life is so, well…interesting. I guess because I am single and have no children they picture me in every moment of my free time “living it up in full risky business regalia” um, er whatever. But I’m actually a very solitary person, and I always have been. So as to remind myself that I actually could live a little more and that I don’t need a TV dinner, a cocktail and dance solo in my sock feet to kick start my summer (although it might help), I’m going to be creating more art, making real plans, and being more comfortable in my own skin instead of withdrawing the way I tend to do. Don’t worry, I’m not going to go on a manic spending spree or start bar hopping or serial dating (again)…I’m not even going to go as far as updating my match profile (ick, dating is hard). I’m just going back to basics, making life a little more simple for myself. And, this post is my little “say it out loud”. My mantra dream. inspire. create.  still pushes me everyday, my art, my writing and this blog are still my therapy. I do believe that creativity can heal. But now I’m going to add a little more to the chorus:  ”look up” -and I mean that literally and figuratively.

To explain: When I was growing up I had a habit of always looking down when I walked and I had no idea I was doing it until a boy in high school noticed and asked me why I never look up? Knowing what I know now, I could give you a hundred reasons why I didn’t look up, but at that moment I just said: “Well, I don’t want to fall down.”  

So my goal in reminding myself to look up is to help myself have faith that even if I do fall down, I am more than capable of picking myself back up again. Sounds simple enough but, it’s actually an easy thing for me to forget. I am thinking I will start a  look up series here on Creativitae. It’ll follow the dream. inspire. create. theme but also focus on what I am doing in my life to remind myself to keep looking up. I’ll have creativity prompts with each post. As a regular feature, I am hoping it is a beneficial exercise for me and will inspire others that, like me, have a habit of looking down. 

[artwork © Aimee Elizabeth McEwen 2009]